Thursday, August 20, 2009

WHY?

I'm have a day when every muscle in my body is aching...ok really just my back. But it was bad. I had to go to the chiropractor and a massage therapist within a couple of hours! I think it's stress related and the fact that I am always on this computer!

Anyhow...just randomly typing here...I am on day two of really feeling bad about myself. Really. I look at my pictures and see legs that are larger than I want them to be and arms that are softer than I wish. Those two things, coupled with some business stuff that really threw me for a loop yesterday, just kinda got me down on a very girly, human level. And I HATE IT.

If I could, I WOULD exercise all the time. I absolutely LOVE it. All of it...the bursts of energy, the lack of energy, the soreness, etc. I would take dance classes all the time... My body hasn't changed that much in the past 10 years. I think I actually might be stronger now than ever...but that mirror...oh that mirror..

There was a time when I would have beaten myself up a lot more than I am now for very minor things and I thank God I don't really know how to do that anymore.

I am thankful for my health and my life and while I am capable of some really deep thoughts and have an ability to write novels about them (hope this isn't the first blog of mine that you've read), I am riddled with self conciousness right now. Odd isn't it? I'll get over it...soon...tomorrow...I hope:)